You go on A date, maybe a couple of dates, you're not too sure about her, and before you know it, she's moving next door to you.
Worse Yet: She's moving in the same building as you
Absolute Worst: She wants to move in with you.
The positive: You'll save a bunch of gas if this works out.
You take her to your local watering hole and you discover she's known a little too well.
Worse Yet: The women got in on the action as well.
Absolute Worst: The little midget guy on the left there also got in on the action.
The positive: You don't have to look too far to find the source of the VD.
You finally go over to her place and discover she has a trophy wall that is a bizarre enshrinement to the colossal douche bags she's dated in the past.
Worse Yet: She had "relations" with any of these walking skid marks.
Absolute Worst: She did have "relations" with these bottom feeders before you knew of the existence of the "wall" and you had "relations" with her.
The positive: They were probably all virgins.
Her personal hygiene is taking a noticable decline with each date.
Worse Yet: She can grow a fiercer 'stache than you could ever conjur.
Absolute Worst: During make out sessions her lady beard chafes your face, bringing a tear to your eye.
The Positive: If it works out...you can share razors.
You kiss her goodnight one night, the next night—your in the hospital with some sort of strange disease.
Worse Yet: It's mono, and you're ass up in bed for the better part of the year.
Absolute Worst: You and Death play chess nightly to pass the time.
The positive: God loves you—if you live through this—take it as a sign...a sign to run for your life if you ever see this chick again.
